Check, Please
by OrbitZero
Summary: Quatre thought he was doing a nice thing to take the other pilots out to a fancy restaurant soon after the war. In retrospect he wasn't sure why he decided that was a good idea. Rating for some bad language. Mostly Duo POV in spite of summary.


One of Quatre's comments in this story is taken directly from his English dub voice actor. It was just too adorable for me to not give to Quatre! Also I have written a story close to this situation in 2009 or so but since deleted it. It was about the five of them really talking non-war for the first time at a celebration being thrown by Relena soon after the end of the war. So if you read this and think 'this is familiar'... that may be why :))

* * *

The place was swanky. Nicer than any place Duo had ever been in, at least. Sure, those dinner parties Relena had invited them to just after the war were pretty ritzy affairs. But even a street rat like him knew there was a difference between a catered event made for good press photos and a dinner with-

Well, friends, he guessed. They were his friends, even if Wufei sighed condescendingly at him every time they saw each other, or even if _one_ of them, who would go un-HEERO-named, threatened to kill him a few times in the past. You didn't cross Styx with these kinds of ferrymen and then tell them all to fuck off when you got back to the land of the living, after all. War forged pretty strong bonds, whether they liked it or not, and he considered them friends as a result. So maybe he couldn't tell anyone a lot of the more trivial, mundane stuff about these guys that friends usually knew about friends. But he knew other stuff. He knew which kind of rifle Trowa liked best for sniping. He knew which programming language Heero found easiest to use. He knew Quatre's manipulative business tricks which he had, in fact, used on all of them at some point in time. And he knew Wufei had blended a few different martial arts into a lethal one that he refused to name because that seemed 'too narcissistic'.

So that was something, right?

He also knew none of them would be late, including himself. In spite of any differences, that was something they all had in common: punctuality. It was of utmost importance to soldiers, especially them, since they were such lone wolves at the start. Even if he and Trowa were the most fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants types to possibly have ever existed, and Heero couldn't take a piss without an itinerary, and Wufei and Quatre fell in the more sensible middle ground between these extremes, they all had it drilled into them to always be on time.

"Okay, so you two are making me feel severely underdressed," Duo said as he approached Wufei and Quatre. They both looked like they were going to court or something instead of a dinner. He remembered the stiff collars of the Neoclassical styled uniforms so popular with the elite, definitely a loaner from Relena because he knew he'd never wear it in any other circumstances except her parties. Maybe he didn't want to be wearing something quite that fancy, but his jeans and t-shirt just looked almost slovenly compared to Wufei and Quatre.

"If you haven't figured out that's the story of your life, maybe now's a good time to absorb it," Wufei said.

Duo grinned. It took a lot to upset him, and he knew this was Wufei's peculiar brand of friendly ribbing. It could seem cut-throat to outsiders at its best, but Duo could appreciate it. "I'll teach you how to slum it one day, just watch me."

"It's alright, don't worry about how you're dressed," Quatre said. Duo still had trouble reconciling that kind, thoughtful voice with the ruthless tactics Quatre executed on the battlefield. But he figured his voice and mannerisms were as much a weapon as anything else. After all, Duo hadn't thought twice about being able to kick Quatre's ass the first time they met. It was definitely disarming when someone you took for a spineless pushover turned out to be manipulating the shit out of you. He supposed you didn't make it far in the business world without figuring out tricks like that. It was just particularly impressive for someone so young to have such a handle on it.

"Well, least I got you two bums to make me feel better," Duo said, slinging his arms around Heero's and Trowa's shoulders. The former shoved his arm off without a second thought, and the latter tolerated Duo like a patient old dog letting the toddler pull its tail. Heero was rocking the usual tank top, but with jeans at least, and a blue jacket. Trowa was dressed about the same as himself, with the addition of an olive field jacket. "They'll let us in right?" Duo asked Quatre.

"Maybe, how many dishes can you wash in an hour?" Wufei asked.

"I'd tell you, but I'm not sure you can count that high," Duo said. It earned him a smirk.

Quatre managed to get them all in the building, only to be met with the expected resistance by the host politely explaining the restaurant's dress code. Duo saw it coming a mile away and couldn't figure out why Quatre hadn't just told them to dress nicely, or just hit up a place that didn't require it. Quatre spoke to the host as if he were deeply regretful, and mentioned his disappointment. "I really do love this place, they have such an extensive menu. It's pretty pricey, but you really would have loved it. Maybe we'll have to find somewhere el-"

Before he could finish, someone else had come to the host's side and there was a short conversation. Then the newcomer said, "Mr. Winner, you know as well as I do that you and your guests are always welcome in my establishment." So it was the owner, willing to break the upper class aesthetic to let some poors hang around as long as somebody was paying handsomely for it. Duo twisted his lips a bit, thinking about the amount of money this place was going to take in tonight and what better things it could be used for than turning a plate of spinach and quail into an artsy little spiral on a plate.

They were seated, and not without a couple of stares, he noticed. It set Heero on edge. He could tell, because the guy's eyes never stayed in one place. Trowa seemed like he could give less of a shit. Duo was in about the same boat, but probably for slightly more bitter reasons. He had a thing against rich people, especially ones that flaunted it like this. Yeah, Quatre wasn't exactly poorly done for, but at least he had direct evidence of Quatre's willingness to do things for others, things that didn't even directly benefit him. He remembered Quatre telling him once about how he used to be a bratty kid, ungrateful for anything, and how he'd learned to care a little deeper about life. Duo had been skeptical at first because he'd heard the same song and dance on so many talk shows from celebrities who did their two weeks in a poor area, going on about how much a disadvantaged child's smile meant to them before going back to their life of excess. They got to feel good about themselves and whatever kid they left to rot in a slum got to die in a gutter at a young age or maybe, if he was lucky, land a back-breaking job that only just allowed him to scrape by.

He shook himself out of his angry little reverie. He was with friends tonight, so he needed to chill out. No sense in being bitter. Somehow a menu had been placed in front of him and a waitress listed the day's specials. Any meal that cost fifty dollars or more probably shouldn't, given that it all turned to shit at the end of the day. He glanced over at Wufei and Quatre, who were more likely to know this kind of environment. Wufei wasn't necessarily rolling in it like Quatre, but he'd bet dollars to donuts Trowa and Heero had never been to a restaurant that didn't have a dollar menu.

Drinks were ordered. Duo didn't recognize a single one of these beers and the second he asked about them, he was met with a request for identification. He'd forgotten the official drinking age was eighteen and got a little chuffed when he realized they probably weren't going to break a law over him. "Old enough to die for the colonies, but not old enough for a beer, man, my luck," he muttered as he glanced over the drinks and settled on a soda. The lady taking the order tried to hide a puzzled expression behind a polite laugh at his remark. When she left, Duo looked up at everybody. "Well, what's good Quatre?"

"Don't let me be the one to tell you. Try something you might like."

"What if you don't know what you like?" Trowa asked.

"No borscht and potato vodka, comrade?" Duo said in his best Russian accent. Wufei scoffed, as he often did when Duo spoke.

" _Nyet, priyatel,_ " Trowa muttered back, still clearly focused on deciphering a list of foods he'd never even heard of.

Duo shrugged and glanced at Heero. "Well?"

Heero had already scanned through the menu and gave Duo a look that said 'isn't it obvious?' "Whatever has the highest caloric content per dollar."

Duo burst out into some pretty obnoxious laughter, but he should've seen Heero's utilitarian decision coming from a mile away. "You gonna ask the lady that? 'Miss, break the menu down in terms of dollars per ounce'."

"Dollars per _calorie,_ " Heero corrected. "Some foods are more calorie-dense than others."

"Jesus," Duo sighed.

"I have to agree with Duo," Quatre put in. "You should eat what looks like it'd taste the best, not which is most filling for the cost. Don't worry about the money."

"There are too many choices," Trowa said. "How is anyone supposed to decide on one thing?" Duo thought he caught an edge of defeat in his voice and it took a pretty trained ear to notice things like that.

"I just-hey, I made a bet with myself. How many restaurants have you two been in, in your lives?" Duo asked, waving a finger at Trowa and Heero.

"Duo," Wufei said sharply, as if in warning. Duo found Wufei was always weirdly mindful of the three of them having less than stellar childhoods. He didn't understand why, given that the three of them never got pissed off when asked about it.

"What? It's an honest question."

"None," Heero said. There went the dollar.

"Do bars count?" Trowa asked thoughtfully.

"They serve food?"

"Peanuts."

Duo shook his head.

"Then no." And there went the donut.

"I been to a couple as a kid. When we could scrounge up enough change. 'Cause Wednesdays were cheap, you know, like a dollar for a burger and fries kind of cheap," Duo said. He smiled a little as he remembered how big of a deal that was to him and some of the other kids. Running the streets looking for pennies and dimes. That was the biggest problem in the world then. How quickly things had changed. "What'd you guys eat then?"

"Whatever I was given," Heero answered predictably.

"Things that kept without refrigeration," Trowa said.

"What's everybody's favorite food, anyway?" Duo asked, remembering his lack of mundane knowledge on them.

"You should really be deciding what you're going to eat..." Wufei said, fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose as his eyes closed.

"I like a good burger and all. But I don't know. Something about a steak cooked just the right way. I mean I never been to a real good steakhouse but like steak and eggs at a diner? And it's only eight bucks? I could swing that sometimes. Birthday food," Duo said. He glanced at Quatre. "You don't eat cows, right?"

"It's pigs, Duo," Quatre corrected with a small laugh.

"Man! You're missing out! Bacon!"

"More for you," Quatre conceded.

"Yeah, man, I'm not getting into Muslim heaven if that's against the rules," Duo said. Wufei sighed loudly and briefly covered his eyes with his hand. Quatre laughed. "Okay, okay, I'm just saying, if God put animals on Earth for us to eat, he wouldn't put the best one off-limits, right?"

"Perhaps that's the point," Quatre said, not really addressing the silliness of the rest of the statement. "For us to be faced with a temptation and to refuse it is more important than momentary satisfaction."

"So if you were starving and somebody was like, 'well, I got this ham here and that's all there is in the world', you wouldn't eat it?" Duo asked. It wasn't a challenge to his faith, just a genuine question. That was something the others-even Wufei, for all his irritation-understood about Duo and his endless questions. He never meant offense, he just genuinely wanted to know something. But in most cases, he didn't have the social skills to understand how to ask his questions tactfully.

"If ham is the only food left on the planet, we have bigger problems," Quatre answered.

"C'mon."

He conceded finally, and said, "I'm allowed to eat pork if it's the only food keeping me from death." Leave it to Quatre to answer one of Duo's more ridiculous hypotheticals honestly.

"But what if you developed a taste for it? Like, a _hunger_?"

Quatre couldn't help but laugh at the dramatic way Duo said it. Wufei was a little less amused, and he asked, "Did you come here to eat food, or just talk about it?"

Duo put up his hands. "Okay, relax." He was able to concentrate on the menu for about five seconds when he found the quiet at the table unbearable. "Okay, look at all these French words. 'Soup duh jower', what the hell is that? How can I order the food if I don't know what it is?"

" _Du jour_ ," Quatre corrected gently. "It's the daily soup."

"Oh," Duo murmured as he looked back down at the menu. There was another few seconds of silence, and this time it was interrupted by a flicking noise, the sound of metal striking something. Quatre and Wufei turned their eyes to Duo, fearing the worst once they realized it was a lighter. Stink bomb, real bomb(on a very small scale, of course), fireworks, some other kind of terrible joke in the making, who could tell with him? Duo stared back and said, "The hell you looking at?" Their eyes shifted quickly to Trowa when a bright spark caught their attention, his eyes still focused on the indecipherable menu. Heero was the only one who'd accurately gauged where the noise had come from. Trowa was trying to light a cigarette.

Almost without thinking, Wufei leaned across the table and snatched the lighter and cigarette away. "Are you crazy? You can't smoke in here! And cigarettes are illegal in the colonies! How did you even-" It was hard for him to focus with Duo cackling beside him. Trowa just shrugged in response. Wufei tried to take a deep, calming breath, but this dinner was really trying his patience.

"You shouldn't smoke, period," Quatre said, one of the few things he ever got stern about. "It's bad for you."

"You're telling a child soldier things are bad for him," Trowa reminded him, clearly finding some amusement in the irony. "Besides, they let you drink at that bar over there, but you can't smoke? Makes no sense."

"Yeah, well, a bottle of beer can't end in a fire that burns up all the oxygen on a space station," Wufei shot back. He knew that was a very worst-case scenario, something pretty unlikely. But it was the principle of the thing.

"If that's the case, you just aren't trying hard enough," Duo said with a grin. Wufei replied with a sharp look, and Duo stuck his tongue out just in time for the waitress to see. It didn't cross his mind to be embarrassed.

"Are you ready to order?"

"Do you have a menu that includes the number of calories in each dish?"

"Oh my God," Duo muttered.

"Um, I think we do-" the woman said uncertainly, evidence of Duo's belief that no one really asked things like that at a restaurant like this. Or if they did, they weren't doing it for the reasons Heero was.

"Just bring him a bunch of bread, that stuff's free, right?" Duo said.

Heero stared for a moment as if the realization had just struck him that Duo was right. He _could_ just eat bread.

"No," Quatre said quickly, seeing the gears turning in Heero's head. "He's going to order something, when he's ready. But we're all still deciding." He gave a reassuring smile to the waitress and she left them alone.

"For the record, _I_ was ready to order something. Because I actually looked at the menu instead of babbling about it," Wufei said.

"What're you getting then?" Duo asked.

"This duck dish."

"What's fennel?" Trowa asked, squinting at the menu like the answer was between the letters.

"It's an herb," Wufei said.

"Complicated," Trowa muttered.

"I wanted to treat you guys to something new," Quatre said, as if he felt guilty about buying them a fancy dinner that some of them appeared to be having trouble with. "I didn't intend for it to be such a trial."

"Don't sweat it. We're just no used to this. You could've told us about that dress code thing, too, save yourself some trouble," Duo said, careful not to come off as accusatory. The money Quatre was about to drop on this meal was probably more than Duo's entire life savings stuck in his mattress, so he didn't have anything to complain about.

Quatre shrugged. "I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. I know you guys didn't particularly enjoy being so dressed up at Relena's parties, so I wasn't going to make you wear things you normally wouldn't."

"Aww Quatre, you're too nice to us shitheads."

"Speak for yourself," Heero said, bristling a little. Then he looked at Quatre. "The vulgar part. No one's questioning your generosity." Quatre inclined his head in thanks.

"Okay, what's a calam-ari?" Duo asked.

" _Calamari,_ " Wufei corrected with another sigh. "It's squid."

"Ugh! Look, Quatre, I think I'm gonna go with a boring old steak. Least I know what that is."

"That's fine. Anything you want," Quatre said, glancing around the table. He stopped on Trowa, who held his head in his hand, eyes closed, and he frowned. "Is everything okay?"

"Mmhm."

"What're you doing?" Duo asked, eyes drawn to Trowa's finger as it roamed over the menu.

"Ordering..." he said, letting the word hang in the air for a moment as his finger suddenly stopped. He pulled his hand away from his eyes and read the name of the dish that was closest to his finger, something involving salmon.

"So that's what it's like to leave every aspect of your life to fate," Duo said with a smile. He looked over his menu for what must've been an attempt numbering in double digits by now. But the waitress showed up again and it was crunch time. He finally made a decision between the two steaks on the menu, and Wufei was relieved that their orders were finally put in. He knew being in a place like this might be a novelty to them, but hadn't expected it to be quite so difficult for them to even _order_ something. Of course, given their luck, ordering wouldn't be the worst of their troubles that night.

A voice that seemed to them almost like some kind of annoying chirping brought all their attentions to a strange woman with what Duo would call a shit-eating grin on her face. Beside her stood a younger guy holding a camera. The color seemed to drain out of Quatre's face, and before he could say anything, the woman said, "Oh my, Mr. Winner? That _is_ you, isn't it?"

"Well-" Quatre started to say. They all had a little familiarity with the weird paparazzi that seemed to encircle Quatre at any given moment. When their own identities had been found out, they'd even gotten some people trying to invade their own privacy. And those were just the ones who _didn't_ despise them. It didn't last long when Heero punched one in the face after warning him he'd do just that if they didn't leave him alone.

"These are your comrades, right, the pilots?" the woman continued, never really giving Quatre a chance to say anything. She was practically shaking with excitement at being the one to catch them all together in such fancy digs. "Out for a get-together? Reminiscing about the war? Talking about your plans for the future?"

"Go," was all Heero said, and those who knew him recognized a tone of voice quickly approaching pissed. Picking up on Heero's nonverbal cues was a subtle art form, Duo decided. Like a wine tasting that could end in everyone beating the shit out of each other with broken bottles if they aren't good enough at it.

"Ah, don't listen to him lady, I think he's threatened to kill more people than not and we're all still here," Duo said, trying to goad Heero into a bigger outburst than 'go'.

The woman didn't seem to know whether to take that light-heartedly or not, but gave a forced laugh anyway.

"We really would appreciate a little privacy-" Quatre tried to say. He didn't like the calculating look Heero was giving the glass of water, eyes tracing a path from it to the amount of space between the guy with the camera and the lady with the recorder.

"Oh, it's only a minute, if you please, Mr. Winner. What are we all ordering tonight?"

"We who, lady, you pulling up a chair or what?" Duo asked. The woman gave a brief, incredulous look at Duo's remark, but quickly covered it up.

"We're just trying to have a quiet meal," Wufei said, wanting to get out of this the polite way for Quatre's sake. He knew the rest of them had no real significant reputations to uphold. They didn't really have a public to answer to like Quatre.

The woman seemed undeterred by the requests to be left alone. "I love this jacket, so military-chic. Where'd you get it?" she asked, rubbing some of the olive fabric on Trowa's arm.

Duo caught an interesting flicker in Trowa's eyes and covered his mouth with his hand in anticipation. His accent a lot thicker than usual, Trowa responded, "I steal from body of dead man in Chelyabinsk. He ask many question of useless nature, so I take eyes from skull."

Duo bit his tongue hard enough he thought it might split in half. Quatre started coughing up the water he'd been drinking. Heero's lips twitched and Duo decided it counted as a smile. Wufei's head was in his hands but Duo swore he saw his shoulders shaking a little. Maybe he was crying tears of frustration. The woman stepped away, a distressed grimace coming to her face. She was obviously used to polite small talk, uncertain of how to deal with responses that went too far off a basic script. So Duo kicked in his two cents. "Who doesn't love free shit?"

"Eyeballs earn much money in black market. Was good day," Trowa added in what could almost be described as a wistful tone. Duo's stomach tensed as he tried to hold back his laughter.

"Well-" the woman said, glancing back at her photographer. How humorless did you have to be to not understand it was all a joke? "It was really an enlightening conversation-"

"Ah, we didn't even get to Heero's story about the time he used some guy's guts to keep himself warm in Antarctica," Duo said. Heero shot him a look of warning that told him not to drag him into anything.

"Lovely seeing you all together," the woman said, the pair finally slipping away from the table in a hurry.

"Really?" Wufei said immediately once the journalists were gone. " _Really?!"_

"You were laughing," Duo shot back.

"I never took anybody's eyeballs out, to my knowledge," Trowa added. Heero thought it went without saying that he'd never slept in anybody's guts, either. If that was even possible.

"At least you guys got rid of them," Quatre said, trying to reassure Wufei that he wasn't upset. "I thought we'd be answering questions all night."

"Duo is still here," Heero said dryly.

"I don't mind his questions," Quatre responded with a smile.

"Nice," Duo said, glancing around, thinking of one to ask. He needed that mundane friend knowledge, after all. They didn't get together too often like this so he may as well seize the opportunity. "Okay, what'd you guys want to be when you grew up?"

"Look what you've done, Quatre," Wufei said flatly. In reality, he didn't mind the question. A dinner without a conversation was an awkward one. And at least they weren't petrifying tabloid journalists anymore.

Quatre blushed a little as he thought, and a small smile came to his face. "I-Well," he raised his head and squared his shoulders before finally answering. "I wanted to be a dinosaur."

"Oh my God!" Duo cried, laughing immediately. "That is the best possible answer-Oh my God!"

"What kind?" Trowa asked.

"Apatosaurus," Quatre answered without having to think twice, proof that it wasn't just a silly answer for the sake of it.

"No T-Rex?" Duo asked.

Quatre shook his head. "I didn't want to be fierce. I just wanted to be big enough to not be messed with."

"Well thought out," Duo admitted. "If I could be a dinosaur, I think I'd be one of those raptors from that movie. Those things were bitchin'."

Nobody at the table knew what movie he meant, but that was par for the course with Duo. "The flying one," Trowa threw in.

Quatre pursed his lips as if he had some terrible news that he was reluctant to give. "Actually...pteranodons aren't proper dinosaurs."

"Fine, the question can extend to include all prehistoric...dino-like, uh, stuff," Duo said. He glanced between Wufei and Heero expectantly, waiting for a response.

"I don't know any dinosaurs," Heero answered.

"That is the most depressing shit I ever heard in my life, a kid who didn't get to daydream about dinosaurs," Duo said.

"What a kind friend you are, to rub that in," Wufei said. Heero shrugged though. He didn't care if he knew about dinosaurs or not.

"Well what about you then?"

"It's a ridiculous question," Wufei responded.

"So give a ridiculous answer," Duo said, always insistent.

"Quatre, what kills raptors?" Wufei asked without taking his eyes off of Duo.

"Um..."

"Oh it is _on_ like Donkey Kong," Duo said a little too loudly, palm smacking the tabletop and rattling the silverware. A few people at neighboring tables glanced over at them. "Nothing kills raptors. I saw the movie, okay? Those suckers brought down a T-goddamn-Rex!"

"As a group," Wufei pointed out. "In your little thought experiment, you're only a single raptor."

"It's assumed I run with a gang," Duo answered.

"Really? Well, I guess only creatures with pea-sized brains would find you tolerable anyway, so it makes sense."

Duo searched desperately for a devastating comeback, but he was interrupted by the arrival of all the fancy food. So that also meant he didn't have to admit Wufei had bested him. Everything smelled amazing-except the fish. He hated fish. But even the vegetables looked like they'd taste great, and he wasn't a fan of many of those. After a brief confirmation that everything was well, the waitress left them and they actually had a moment of silence at first. Everyone was preoccupied with food for just a few minutes. But then Duo glanced around the table. Trowa was next to him so he started there first, fork sliding, sliding, sliding until it speared a yellow cucumber-looking piece of vegetable. Staring at Trowa as if awaiting a reproach, he slid the fork back, back, back to his mouth. The other never even noticed, or rather, Duo decided, he just didn't care.

He glanced to his left where Heero ate his meal like he was processing paperwork or something. And that food just looked so good it seemed almost like a crime to not relish in it. So again he slid, slid, slid his fork towards those creamy looking potatoes with the herbs sprinkled on them and-

There was a loud, awful nails-on-chalkboard noise as Heero slammed his own fork onto the plate, tines tangling in Duo's encroaching utensil. Duo could feel pretty much all eyes in the restaurant on him and Heero, but being the center of attention hadn't ever bothered him. "You have your own food," Heero stated, the threat clear in his voice. Duo often took threats as challenges, and this instance was no different. He shoved his fork forward, and again, there was that awful scraping noise as Heero's fork slid back across the plate and into the potatoes.

"Stop it!" Wufei said through clenched teeth but went unheeded. Quatre watched and felt almost helpless, a feeling he wasn't often subjected to.

Heero shoved back, and the pair of forks separated, flinging large clumps of mashed potatoes everywhere. A woman cried out from the next table, a hand flying to her cheek where a bit of potato landed on her. Quatre wanted to sink through the floor of the restaurant and thought he should've seen something like this coming before he even made reservations. It was a nice enough idea for him to try to treat his friends to an expensive meal, but why had he thought it'd happen without a fight?

"Why didn't you just let me have some potatoes!" Duo cried, hand shooting out to take Heero by the wrist and remove his plates defenses.

"If you wanted them so badly, you could have ordered your own," Heero answered, free arm wrapping around Duo's neck to get him in a hold.

Wufei stood up abruptly and headed for the bathroom before he killed one, or both, of them. Quatre tried to calm the two of them down but his words went unheard. Trowa kept eating as if nothing was happening, except when Duo flung himself backwards and Trowa had to put out a hand to Duo's shoulder, pushing him back to avoid being knocked out of his seat. A waitress hovered around the table frantically, unsure of what to do since the manager had expressed someone at the table was a preferred guest. The woman with the potatoes on her cheek was staring at them with disgust as her husband reassured her that 'someone' was going to hear about this without ever specifying who.

"Excuse me."

Duo's foot came up under one of Heero's chair legs and he tried to flip the whole thing on its side. But Heero was too quick and he slammed his heel down on Duo's shin.

"Excuse me!"

Duo took a handful of the potatoes-basically everything on the plate since portions in places like this were always so small-and shoved it into Heero's face. The other responded with a blow to the chin, not hard enough to seriously injure him, but enough to get the point across.

"We're going to call the police if you don't get out, right now!" The same man who'd let them in despite their state of dress was staring at them in shock, pointing towards the door.

Heero and Duo separated at that. And Duo burst out into laughter at Heero's face with garlic butter mashed potatoes smeared over his face like some kind of bizarre beauty treatment.

"Can I get this to go, first?" Trowa asked. His question was answered with an incredulous scoff, so he took the plate and fork with him as they left. Quatre lingered, apologizing profusely, leaving enough money to cover the bill, and probably the most amazing tip the waitress had ever seen in her life. He was met with the reprimand that he'd never be welcome here again, but at that point he wouldn't have planned on ever returning to begin with.

Outside, Heero was trying his best to wipe potatoes off his face, flicking gobs into the bushes along the sidewalk. Duo was telling him, "You just should've given me a bite of potatoes." Trowa was finishing his food and he left the plate and fork on the bench in front of the restaurant as they passed. "That was good, Quatre. Thank you."

Quatre sighed and gave a quiet "you're welcome" in response. At least one of them had enjoyed their meal. He looked back over his shoulder to see Wufei exiting the restaurant, a hand held up as if to shield his face from the people inside. "You two are complete and utter animals," Wufei snapped as he passed by them. It'd probably be a little while before he spoke to any of them without insulting them first, but they knew he'd get over it.

"We still love you, Wufei," Duo called.

"I don't care!"

Quatre kept pace just behind Heero and Duo, unsure of what to say to them. It wasn't really his place to discipline them-he wasn't their keeper, after all, and he had no control over what they did anyway. But the scene had been pretty embarrassing. "I don't think I've _ever_ been kicked out of a restaurant before," Quatre said to them, but didn't allow himself to be angry. In retrospect, he supposed it was amusing enough, now that no one was staring daggers at them. No one had been hurt, and the worst to happen was a woman getting a little food on her. It was probably the sort of thing he'd be laughing about by tomorrow. They were still kids, after all, and kids got into trouble all the time. They'd still had a pretty good talk before the little food-fight, and so as far as Quatre was concerned, that made it worth it.

Duo grinned a little as a thought dawned on him and he asked, "Where else have you never been kicked out of?"


End file.
